Ugly Grub Ball.

17th - 19th July

2009

   Right first off I’ve never done owt like this before  (not the going to rallies, the writin’ about ‘em bit) so I’m not quite sure how to start this.  Oh, and I forgot to take my camera.  If I had a brain I’d be dangerous, to be honest. 

   Right for me, my grubs story starts last year when I split up with my ex, which left me feeling like shit and then Bod being the great mate that he is, came all the way back to mine and took me to the Ugly Grubs 2008.  He keeps telling me when I mention it that it is just a short hop down the motorway, but that ain’t the point, he could of left to face the tears, feeling like a complete arse because I caused them.  I had the time of my life and whilst the following year hasn’t been easy, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been -  not because I had left my ex, but because, with the help of Bod and the Moonshiners, I was starting to grow the balls to be myself.  So I thought aside from the fact it’s a good do put on by a cracking bunch of people,  I had got to go and mark the anniversary of the real me starting to emerge. 

 I really wanted to go on the Friday but I had sold some parts on eBay and had to wait for the guy to come and collect them and give me the money to pay for my weekend.  It had already been arranged that that I was going to ride down with a friend on Saturday afternoon.  It’s a pretty straight forward journey, across from Wednesbury, through Dudley and Stourbridge, meet up with Tracy, then across to Bromsgrove, hop on the m42 down to junction 10, carry on right to the island, come back on your self then its on the left. I forget the name of the site.  I dare say Bod will remember the name and probably put it in later.  [ Birch Coppice Miners Welfare Club – Bod ] so that’s going to be so easy it’s untrue.   Isn’t it?  It is,  isn’t it?............

.............Well maybe.  “Chestnut”, my GPZ600R Ninja, so called because she spat back burning petrol over my boll....  well you can guess where.  I think it was her way of saying she no longer wanted to be just another 80s sports bike and wanted me to take the faring and other bits off.  Well, she  had other ideas Friday night.   She blew every bulb that was switched on when I pulled up home.  Turns out the ignition switch, being worn, was turning the regulator off before the ignition.  Thus allowing the engine to run on for a brief second and send the voltage through the roof,  spiking anything still switched on.  Not a problem, I’ll replace them in the morning before I go, and in future I’ll stop the engine with the kill switch. So I set off to meet with Tracy. I think I got to about Dudley and chestnut now decided she didn’t know how may cylinders she had,  was it two, or was it four?   One minute she was on two,  then the next on four, usually whilst trying to navigate an island with my cheap nylon tyre (yes you get the picture) but nothing was going to stop me getting there, even if I had to push her there

Anyway, when I got to Tracy I had put my spare ignition unit in my pocket.  Being just a little paranoid about my ignition switch over voltage problem, I decided to try it.   Well whilst removing luggage and bodywork she’d cooled down a bit and ran fine.   So we now head for the motorway where one of Tracy’s bungees and a side stand cup went whistling past my head - so we stop again.  Now chestnut is still running ok, not right, but ok.   If she runs like this there and back I’ll be happy.   Oh sh*t, I spoke to soon.  We’re now on the motorway and I can’t afford breakdown cover.   Come on girl,  you can do it. it’s not far.

”cough, cough, splutter, splutter, bang,  bang,  cough” she says.

 Ahh we made it.

    There’s a good turn out. A load of the Toads are up here and a good sized helping of Moonshiners, so there’s plenty of people I know here to take the p155 out of my bike and me. Yes things are looking up, even the sun is shining. Time to cook a bacon and egg butty - well hand my eggs to Tracy in exchange for a cooked bacon and egg butty.   See I’m not as daft as I look.  Although I know with out having had anything from the food van it would be good food at sensible prices, as they used to have a pitch on the industrial estate where my employers are based.  I did go over and get a coffee mainly because I wanted to say “How do”

    Right now we’ve done eatin’ what’s next?   Oh yes, drink and be merry.  Yes, that’s it. Well a few of the Unwanted MCC  (hello Tango, hello Ruth, -  oh and you will regret inviting me up to your club because I will come. Just ask the Moonshiners, they’re still trying to get rid of me)  were running the disco, and a mighty fine job they did too.   They had a band on called “Decadence” with a six string bass and I wanted to watch and listen to them.  Being a bassist I wanted to see if it really had much effect on the sound but I spotted someone who had made a friend request on my Face Book and I couldn’t decide if I knew her or not.  Sorry about that Kim. I bet you wish you hadn’t clicked that friend request now.  I got talking to her and a few other people I hadn’t seen for a while and missed ‘em, but I did hear good reports about ‘em.

Now we get to the trophy giving.   Now I think I’m in with a chance here, best make a note of the reg. number.   Best bike - well that’s got to be mine, its my favourite bike there.  (in my dreams)  Well that went to a very tidy GS1000 belonging to Tony ‘Wobble’ Winters from the Moonshiners. That’s it.  Mine ain’t going to win now.  Don’t be daft my category is next.

“Next - Rat bike goes to a Ninja we think Reg No. *** *** that was barely running when it arrived”

It can’t be mine. It’s far to nice to be a rat.  Yeah right!  It’s a piece of sh*t and she’s proud of it.

“It’s me.  It’s Chestnut”

     Now the trophies were very clever.  A  piece of engraved stainless steel in the shape of a grub,  but the ears of the grub are done to be used as a bottle opener, so it is now an essential part of my rally kit. . .  . not that I’d dream of taking my own beer of course.  I think the Moonshiners got club turn out but I’d had quite a few to drink by now.   In fact it was me and two others from the Moonshiners who sat out side the catering van finishing our beers and eating Mars bars { ok. I was the only one eating Mars bars }  long after every one else had gone to bed, and I’ll be honest,  in my drunken stupor I missed the raffle too.

  Yes, all in all,  a very good rally.   Hats off to you guys,  I had a cracking time and in case you’re wondering,  Chestnut did make it home.  All she had done was popped a coil. A nice easy fix,  and she was running fine at the time of typing this.  Well the engine wasn’t running while I was typing this ‘cos I’m a bloke I can’t multitask. but she was running fine within an hour of me having my post rally soak in the bath. Yes -  I’ll be going again next year for definite.

Andy V.