Go grab a grub.  Ugly Grub Ball. Giant green grubs - great for grabbing

17th - 19th July


   Right first off Iíve never done owt like this before  (not the going to rallies, the writiní about Ďem bit) so Iím not quite sure how to start this.  Oh, and I forgot to take my camera.  If I had a brain Iíd be dangerous, to be honest. 

   Right for me, my grubs story starts last year when I split up with my ex, which left me feeling like shit and then Bod being the great mate that he is, came all the way back to mine and took me to the Ugly Grubs 2008.  He keeps telling me when I mention it that it is just a short hop down the motorway, but that ainít the point, he could of left to face the tears, feeling like a complete arse because I caused them.  I had the time of my life and whilst the following year hasnít been easy, Iíve been the happiest Iíve ever been -  not because I had left my ex, but because, with the help of Bod and the Moonshiners, I was starting to grow the balls to be myself.  So I thought aside from the fact itís a good do put on by a cracking bunch of people,  I had got to go and mark the anniversary of the real me starting to emerge. 

 I really wanted to go on the Friday but I had sold some parts on eBay and had to wait for the guy to come and collect them and give me the money to pay for my weekend.  It had already been arranged that that I was going to ride down with a friend on Saturday afternoon.  Itís a pretty straight forward journey, across from Wednesbury, through Dudley and Stourbridge, meet up with Tracy, then across to Bromsgrove, hop on the m42 down to junction 10, carry on right to the island, come back on your self then its on the left. I forget the name of the site.  I dare say Bod will remember the name and probably put it in later.  [ Birch Coppice Miners Welfare Club Ė Bod ] so thatís going to be so easy itís untrue.   Isnít it?  It is,  isnít it?............

.............Well maybe.  ďChestnutĒ, my GPZ600R Ninja, so called because she spat back burning petrol over my boll....  well you can guess where.  I think it was her way of saying she no longer wanted to be just another 80s sports bike and wanted me to take the faring and other bits off.  Well, she  had other ideas Friday night.   She blew every bulb that was switched on when I pulled up home.  Turns out the ignition switch, being worn, was turning the regulator off before the ignition.  Thus allowing the engine to run on for a brief second and send the voltage through the roof,  spiking anything still switched on.  Not a problem, Iíll replace them in the morning before I go, and in future Iíll stop the engine with the kill switch. So I set off to meet with Tracy. I think I got to about Dudley and chestnut now decided she didnít know how may cylinders she had,  was it two, or was it four?   One minute she was on two,  then the next on four, usually whilst trying to navigate an island with my cheap nylon tyre (yes you get the picture) but nothing was going to stop me getting there, even if I had to push her there

Anyway, when I got to Tracy I had put my spare ignition unit in my pocket.  Being just a little paranoid about my ignition switch over voltage problem, I decided to try it.   Well whilst removing luggage and bodywork sheíd cooled down a bit and ran fine.   So we now head for the motorway where one of Tracyís bungees and a side stand cup went whistling past my head - so we stop again.  Now chestnut is still running ok, not right, but ok.   If she runs like this there and back Iíll be happy.   Oh sh*t, I spoke to soon.  Weíre now on the motorway and I canít afford breakdown cover.   Come on girl,  you can do it. itís not far.

Ēcough, cough, splutter, splutter, bang,  bang,  coughĒ she says.

 Ahh we made it.

    Thereís a good turn out. A load of the Toads are up here and a good sized helping of Moonshiners, so thereís plenty of people I know here to take the p155 out of my bike and me. Yes things are looking up, even the sun is shining. Time to cook a bacon and egg butty - well hand my eggs to Tracy in exchange for a cooked bacon and egg butty.   See Iím not as daft as I look.  Although I know with out having had anything from the food van it would be good food at sensible prices, as they used to have a pitch on the industrial estate where my employers are based.  I did go over and get a coffee mainly because I wanted to say ďHow doĒ

    Right now weíve done eatiní whatís next?   Oh yes, drink and be merry.  Yes, thatís it. Well a few of the Unwanted MCC  (hello Tango, hello Ruth, -  oh and you will regret inviting me up to your club because I will come. Just ask the Moonshiners, theyíre still trying to get rid of me)  were running the disco, and a mighty fine job they did too.   They had a band on called ďDecadenceĒ with a six string bass and I wanted to watch and listen to them.  Being a bassist I wanted to see if it really had much effect on the sound but I spotted someone who had made a friend request on my Face Book and I couldnít decide if I knew her or not.  Sorry about that Kim. I bet you wish you hadnít clicked that friend request now.  I got talking to her and a few other people I hadnít seen for a while and missed Ďem, but I did hear good reports about Ďem.

Now we get to the trophy giving.   Now I think Iím in with a chance here, best make a note of the reg. number.   Best bike - well thatís got to be mine, its my favourite bike there.  (in my dreams)  Well that went to a very tidy GS1000 belonging to Tony ĎWobbleí Winters from the Moonshiners. Thatís it.  Mine ainít going to win now.  Donít be daft my category is next.

ďNext - Rat bike goes to a Ninja we think Reg No. *** *** that was barely running when it arrivedĒ

It canít be mine. Itís far to nice to be a rat.  Yeah right!  Itís a piece of sh*t and sheís proud of it.

ďItís me.  Itís ChestnutĒ

     Now the trophies were very clever.  A  piece of engraved stainless steel in the shape of a grub,  but the ears of the grub are done to be used as a bottle opener, so it is now an essential part of my rally kit. . .  . not that Iíd dream of taking my own beer of course.  I think the Moonshiners got club turn out but Iíd had quite a few to drink by now.   In fact it was me and two others from the Moonshiners who sat out side the catering van finishing our beers and eating Mars bars { ok. I was the only one eating Mars bars }  long after every one else had gone to bed, and Iíll be honest,  in my drunken stupor I missed the raffle too.

  Yes, all in all,  a very good rally.   Hats off to you guys,  I had a cracking time and in case youíre wondering,  Chestnut did make it home.  All she had done was popped a coil. A nice easy fix,  and she was running fine at the time of typing this.  Well the engine wasnít running while I was typing this Ďcos Iím a bloke I canít multitask. but she was running fine within an hour of me having my post rally soak in the bath. Yes -  Iíll be going again next year for definite.

Andy V.